Because the likelihood of me having a class with any of them is pretty slim, but regardless- just 3 people. I’ve been living my life seeing the same people most of my life for the past 14 years in the same place. Half of my graduating class (yeah, that may be an exaggeration) went to the same college after high school and I couldn’t walk 20 feet without seeing someone I knew/ didn’t care to see.
I’m excited to feel free.
free from my past, I guess.
Not that I regret things I’ve done, but it’s comforting to know that people won’t have some sort of pre conceived idea of me based on something I did 6 years ago, or even last year.
I guess I’m excited to make some friends I never would have met if I hadn’t made this decision to go back to school to learn how to help people through what I love doing the most.
=)
Also. I had such a lovely day with my family, and good friend today.
So lovely. So wonderful. So grateful. So blessed.
I love my life.
I hope you’re all enjoying life, and if you’re not, I hope life treats you better as soon as possible. =) <33
I miss it too much.
Professional internship? Another college program?
I don’t know which one to apply for. But I’m going to work, get a car, save up some money, and apply for one of those for next spring.
So I have time to decide. =)
Interesting.
Some of the things I wrote in it make me smile.
My wording and imagery make me proud.
I need to start writing again.
<3
Also. I just realized I have homework due tomorrow in Chem.
I don’t have a book, so I can’t do it. *shrug*
And I still don’t understand the stuff my quiz is on tomorrow, so…
suck it, Chemistry.
1 more month and I’m done with school.
What? Graduation. wow.
I had speech at 9:30 AM, left early, went to an oral surgeon to get a stupid tooth pulled out at 11. I’ve been had surgery before, so I’ve never been put under and let me tell ya, it’s probably the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m still not 100 percent sure how it all worked and how I woke up in a different room, where I apparent walked while holding onto the nurse, and then I got home “literally” in the blink of an eye.
I’m so confused by how I was put to sleep by science.
The oral surgeon is definitely the coolest guy in the dental industry I have ever encountered. Yesterday he told me his view on life.
“I see life as a roller coaster ride. I always have to sit in the first seat on a roller coaster, because if you’re not in the very front, what’s the point of the ride? You can’t see anything in front of you. So anyway, life’s like that. As you’re getting to the very top and you hear the last two or three clicks- click… click… click, there’s about 2 seconds before you’re about to drop and you’re just looking at it all and you’re thinking, ‘well, here goes nothing” and in 10 seconds, it’s over, and you have the rest of the stuff, the boring stuff afterwards. Life moves pretty fast, and you only live once. I wake up some morning and I think, where has time gone? and I realize that all of those cool Roller Coaster moments are over and I’ve got my kids to rely on. You have to take advantage of whatever obstacles life throws at you. So if you need to fix something about yourself, then you have to do it before it’s too late. You have to enjoy and experience as many roller coasters as you possibly can until you aren’t allowed to ride them anymore.”
… why are you the freaking coolest?!?!
Then I came home, wake up every 2 hours, 2 times, took some vicodin, thought I was going to die the second time I woke up, ate baby sliced pizza, drank little juice boxes of apply juice, two apply juiced, got dressed to see my High School’s Production of ‘The Secret Garden” and remembered what inspired me 5 years ago to go into the performance industry.
Today was incredible. On the right path to feeling beautiful and being successful.
YAY! =)
ALSO. comments I got today.
From my 9th grade french teacher whom I haven’t seen in about 3 years, as I was walking toward her to greet her and hug her, “Oh my God, you are gorgeous.” TEARS
“You look hot. Look at you body.”
“I love your outfit.”
“It was so nice seeing you.”
little things. But wonderfully inspiring things. =)
I hope everybody’s happy and hanging in there with school and stuff. You’re all beautiful.
ALSO ALSO. THE FUCKING HUNGER GAMES.
PERFECT.
Also. I just want my uncles to let me move into their condo on the beach in California since they’re moving to Arizona, Hawaii, or New Jersey. I mean… if they’re going to be paying someone to “watch” their house everyday and take care of it, why can’t I just live there and pay them some money, while I watch their house and keep it wonderful? It makes more sense. And they can obviously trust me.
on the freaking beach.
My future roommate will be TOO happy because she said her life would be complete if she could look out the window and see the ocean everyday. I would probably cry everyday of my life seeing such beauty.
My grandma is going to try to talk them into it. Which means, she’s going to tell them it’d be stupid for them to be paying somebody else money, while they could be making some extra money instead by letting me live there… seriously… it’s basically a win/win situation here.
I have such incredible people in my life. Catching up with friends is so wonderful and it just makes my life when they call and tell me how they’re doing.
I think it’s awesome to have friends you’re proud of. I actually think that those are the people who are your actual friends- the ones you can say, “I’m so proud of you,” gladly and in front of anybody who will listen.
I’m so blessed, it’s not even funny.
My sister and I have been going to the gym together and I’m rather excited. I biked about 11.5 miles today and then treadmilled uphill for about 2 miles to cool dat shiz down before rehearsal.
I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.
This past week, people told me I’m beautiful. At random.
I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve felt beautiful.
So I guess I think it’s a big deal that people are telling me I’m beautiful since I’m actually FEELING it.
The past 6 months, I was at my lowest I’ve ever really been at because I thought I’d never be able to sing again and I hated that my asthma was taking over my damn life. BUT I’ve taken control of my life again and I’m really excited.
(I gave up fried foods, fast food [not panera or fudruckers because I feel like they are more sit down restaurant-types and their food is actually pretty good for you] and junk food for lent. I was going to give up soda, too, but I don’t really drink that enough to feel like it’s a loss. SO yeah, I gave up that stuff for LENT because I did it a few years ago and I’d gotten at my healthiest, so here’s to a repeat! Because I’d never been happier.)
ALSO. I love wearing lipstick. I love wearing make up.
I stopped wearing eye make up and stuff because I didn’t want to be seen as “the girl who’s trying too hard.” But. Whatever. If people think that way, they’re dumb, because I feel rather lovely with some eye make up and lipstick. So bye. =)
ALSO. QUICK QUESTION: WHY DOES PLANET FITNESS HAVE FREE TOOTSIE ROLLS!?! As I leave from working out and feeling wonderful, I snatch them up and I feel like I just ruined my last 45 minutes of life…
ALSOALSO. Rachel McAdams. I’d like to be the next you. Can I have your career?
and write in someone’s “ask” and they don’t know who’s being so nice to them.
and you feel RUHHLZ awk because you don’t know if they would have replied differently, or maybe not at all for that matter. hahah
ALSO. I have about a 15 hour day at school, starting at 8AM.
holy shit.
At least my math homework is basically all caught up.
it took about 6 hours, but my teacher no longer thinks I’m a slacker.
Perhaps my GPA won’t drop drastically from my 3.8?
let’s hope.
ALSOOO. I’m going to a costume party on friday. HELL YES.
Andd, I’ve been so exhausted this past month, I’m really starting to feel it in my voice. WOMP. I have to write a speech tomorrow that’s due wednesday. I think I’m going to change my topic and write about how after a few months working through my vocal chord issues, I saw a show and cried because I had an epiphany and believed in myself again. But maybe not. UGH. WHY CAN’T I DECIDE.
Fun facts: I’m indecisive. I feel like I’m missing something when I go to sleep. I love being surrounded by friends. I see the good in people before I even think about their faults. I’ll believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself. I feel like I’m destined to do something beautiful in/for the world.
I’m alive.
I can sing.
THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE COMES OUT SO SOON!! HOLYSHIT!
I’m doing really well in school.
I’m graduating in May and I can’t wait to be done with this damn school.
New friendships are awesome.
St. Patrick’s day is pretty damn soon.
I’m going to Disney for easter with my family =D
I turn 21 in two months and some change.
My dad’s surprise birthday party is the weekend after my birthday.
I love who I am.
Since getting closer to some people from school, I’ve found plenty of people who LOVELOVELOVE ULTIMATE FRISBEE and want to start playing soon!! I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING WAIT TO START PLAYING AGAIN.
I joined the damn gym and I’m so damn excited.
I’m going to be tan soon. Hell.YEAH.
Cabaret is going to be pretty beautiful and I’m really happy it will be my last performance at the school a week or two before I officially graduate.
I’M SEEING INGRID MICHAELSON IN CONCERT THE WEEK BEFORE I GRADUATE!! AH!!
I’m in love with some songs lately.
Ghost- Ingrid (literally, blasting/singing like cray more than 5 times a day)
End of the World- Ingrid (^^same)
Broken Headlights- Joey Ryan ft. Sara Bareilles
Also. I started writing my speech for next week and I guess I’m a little obsessed.
I hope you’re all doing so well, lovelies!
<3
First assignment in Cabaret class is to think of a way diversity has effected me and write a “monlogue” which I could possibly “perform” to lead into a song.
I’m kind of having trouble deciding what to write about.
Everyone’s talking about how they’re going to write about when they were bullied and alienated and what not. or something. I’ve never actually really said much about how/if I’ve ever been treated badly because I don’t like to give people opportunity to pity me. I don’t like to point out my faults or the sadness I’ve been through mainly because it’s in the past and I don’t ever want to relive it again.
I could write about the time the entire freshman softball team started a petition to get me kicked off. Every single one of my friends signed it. Mind you, I was not the worst player on the team- I actually started center field every game and it wasn’t until a few weeks after the petition went around, that I started getting switched out for a couple innings to give someone else a chance (which I didn’t care about because, why not, give other people the chance to play.) ANYWAY. Not one of my friends didn’t sign it, not one of them stuck up for me. I was a good team player, and though I hadn’t played for school or for the town ever, I’d grown up playing baseball with all the boys in the neighborhood since I could throw a ball and swing a bat, but that was the first time I really experienced how ugly jealousy can be. Needless to say, I lost all of my friends that year and for two years, I didn’t have real friends, just classmates. I played softball and ran track to take up my time, but I was miserable until I met some friends in the drama club who urged me to audition. It was then that I realized, everybody has their place in the world, they just have to find it.
Or I could write about how I was cyber bullied for almost 2 years by some of the most unfortunate souls on the planet in middle school because I was “the ugliest, most worthless thing on the planet” who will “never have a boyfriend.” For two years I hated myself because of the words these girls called me. Because I let these girls define me, I was distant and couldn’t trust a soul. It wasn’t until Junior year of high school when I actually was told that I was beautiful. I’d taken a step back and realized how far I’d come from feeling so ugly and so worthless that I felt the need to channel the pain I’d felt for so long, into positivity and making other people realize their worth and not go a day without knowing how precious life is. I went from living in an angry, confused bubble, to believing in, and learning to love myself and I wound up winning the superlative for the best personality of my graduating class. So much for being worthless.
I don’t really know which one to talk about.
and I don’t know what “theater” songs could fit with either of them at the moment, but this was more for my benefit, to help me brainstorm.
If you read this, thank you, you’re lovely.
Have a wonderful night everyone and make tomorrow awesome =)
Signed up for netflix. Couldn’t really decide what to watch, but I finally settled on “No Strings Attached”. I’m glad I did.
Every now and then I find myself hurting because I’m fighting to stay so strong and happy and nice to everybody and about everything. For years, I was a sad, angry, confused little girl because I always told myself I wasn’t allowed to cry. I’ve been telling myself I’m not allowed to let things effect me and make me unhappy because I forgot that that doesn’t make me weak.
I think it’s weak to hide and ignore things.
I’m not weak.
yes, I lost 10 pounds over break.
and you just made my freaking life telling me I look great.
ahhhhhhhh
and I saw some of my favorite people already.
ALSO. The cappuccino machine is working and I’m having my first large french vanilla cap. of the year. =)
damn.
I love this.
-drive my mom to, and then pick her up from, work
- go to my friend’s work to get something I need to pack in my luggage
- find books at ANY local library to use as references for my project (ugh)
- Start outlining my essay and power point (which will be so easy after the library)
- pack because I leave for California in 30 hours. (what?)
- Go to the store and get last minute things for my trip
- eat some food. drink some liquids.
- breathe
I think after I find my books, I’ll go to panera, buy some soup and a beverage, and then sit alone and hopefully get at LEAST 6 slides of my powerpoint done by the time I have to pick my mom up from work.
I can’t believe my life right now.
PS. I don’t know what to pack. (obviously).
or how to pack. what is my life?
I saw some absolutely wonderful people I’d been missing so much
Not only did I enjoy spending time with them, but I loved seeing them do what they love
I laughed and smiled so much
I was with my best friend, Julie and I missed her so much, too.
… We made plans to hang out next week and then when I come home from California.
they all just showed me how much I’m loved, even though we don’t see each other too often, some things never change, and how much we care and believe in each other is freaking awesome.
SO GREAT!
I hope everybody had a wonderful day =)
now I’m going to watch more Once Upon a Time lololll
