smiling's my favorite.

Despite what you believe about yourself, know that you are loved, forgiven, and worthy. Know that no matter what you’ve been through you can start over. There is always hope.

(Source: internal-acceptance-movement, via recoveryisbeautiful)

My God, Can we please start telling people they are beautiful?

Can it be a rule, can it be a duty of ours to smile at people, genuinely, and to be kind- to help those who express they need help, even if it isn’t spelled out directly? 

Can we open our eyes and see what others are going through? Can we see others’ points of views and show some compassion? 

There was something that switched in my brain about 5 years ago that told me I’m fucking incredible. Up until 5 years ago, I didn’t know what my future would hold because I didn’t think I’d be happy because I wasn’t happy at the time. I felt worthless and like the ugliest person on the planet who would never amount to anything because that’s what some of my peers told me. Everyday I thank God that something switched, that I saw the light, that I looked in the mirror and decided, I may not ever be beautiful enough on the outside to show how beautiful I am as a person, but that’s okay. Because my exterior shell has nothing to do with the worth and beauty and love I have on the inside waiting to be seen.

If you sit behind your computer and you leave anonymous comments telling somebody to go kill themselves, I feel sorry for you because YOU are the weak one. It’s a shame you were taught to be the way you are. 

We need to stand up for one another, even if we aren’t all friends. 

To those of you who walk past hundreds of people a day without even moving a muscle to smile and show that you’re an equal, I challenge you to get out of your self centered lifestyle, and start a new one- a compassionate, kind, loving lifestyle where you’re goal in life isn’t just to be fucking awesome yourself, but to get other people to see how absolutely amazing and beautiful THEY are, too. 

Can we please stop being so self centered and inconsiderate of the rest of the humans who inhabit the same exact planet you do?

please. 


I don’t even care if we have never spoken before. Contact me if you are sad. Contact me if someone made you feel worthless and you need to be told you are beautiful. You are not attention seeking if you are depressed. You are not attention seeking if you express how upset and broken you are. You are HUMAN. My God. You are human. 

We’re not supposed to be unbreakable and strong, unaffected creatures. Feelings make us human, experiences and how they effect us make us real; that’s why we’re here. 

We need to stop making people feel ashamed and like they don’t belong because they’re different. Who told you that you are now the ruler of the universe and you decide who can stay and who has to kill themselves to rid the planet of their “unworthiness”. Don’t make me laugh. Don’t hold your breath. You do not have that power. 

We can’t let anybody have power over us to make us feel worthless. We were all put on this earth for a reason. We are alive- and that for one thing is something to be grateful for. Pain sucks and sometimes we feel like there is no escaping it, but there is. There is a reason for the pain and when you get through it, you will be grateful for it. 

Maybe I’m just weird and I love human beings so much to the point where I wish I could reach out and get through to everyone the fact that we are all beautiful and we all have a reason to be on this planet. We need to help each other see our worth and our potential. We cannot belittle one another for our own enjoyment. 

I’m not even sorry for this rant taking up your dashboard. 

Wake up, Everybody.
Treat your neighbor how you’d like to be treated.
Or just don’t say anything at all.

But that’s the problem, too. Not saying anything at all. 
So say something. 

<3 More people need to be saying, “I’m here for you” than walking past, or scrolling passing, deciding to “ignore”.  
 

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot of the cards I’ve been dealt this past semester.

I’m so grateful. 

For my family, for the people who love me and want to stay in my life, for the people who recently drifted so far out of my life that they didn’t have the decency to wish me “happy birthday”. I’m mostly grateful for everything I have learned and come to realize in the last 3-4 months. 

I don’t care that you didn’t wish me a happy birthday. 
I care that you never said you’re sorry. 

I’ve realized that the people who don’t fess up to what they’ve done and the people who won’t make time to keep you in their lives don’t actually deserve to be in yours. Regardless of how much you THINK you care about them and how much you THOUGHT they cared about you. None of it matters. If you can’t call them up at 2 in the morning and actually get them to pick up the damn phone to say hello, Good Riddance. 


Is it wrong that I’m excited to finish school so I can go to the gym all the time and start seeing myself as the person I see in my mind? 

I didn’t think so. 

Also, I’m fucking awesome. 
And so are my friends. 
And I’m 21 and I can’t wait to get a drink with my professors on friday. 

WOOT. 

STAY BEAUTIFUL. <3
 

OH TODAY.

I had speech at 9:30 AM, left early, went to an oral surgeon to get a stupid tooth pulled out at 11. I’ve been had surgery before, so I’ve never been put under and let me tell ya, it’s probably the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m still not 100 percent sure how it all worked and how I woke up in a different room, where I apparent walked while holding onto the nurse, and then I got home “literally” in the blink of an eye. 

I’m so confused by how I was put to sleep by science.
The oral surgeon is definitely the coolest guy in the dental industry I have ever encountered. Yesterday he told me his view on life.
“I see life as a roller coaster ride. I always have to sit in the first seat on a roller coaster, because if you’re not in the very front, what’s the point of the ride? You can’t see anything in front of you. So anyway, life’s like that. As you’re getting to the very top and you hear the last two or three clicks- click… click… click, there’s about 2 seconds before you’re about to drop and you’re just looking at it all and you’re thinking, ‘well, here goes nothing” and in 10 seconds, it’s over, and you have the rest of the stuff, the boring stuff afterwards. Life moves pretty fast, and you only live once. I wake up some morning and I think, where has time gone? and I realize that all of those cool Roller Coaster moments are over and I’ve got my kids to rely on. You have to take advantage of whatever obstacles life throws at you. So if you need to fix something about yourself, then you have to do it before it’s too late. You have to enjoy and experience as many roller coasters as you possibly can until you aren’t allowed to ride them anymore.”

… why are you the freaking coolest?!?!

Then I came home, wake up every 2 hours, 2 times, took some vicodin, thought I was going to die the second time I woke up, ate baby sliced pizza, drank little juice boxes of apply juice, two apply juiced, got dressed to see my High School’s Production of ‘The Secret Garden” and remembered what inspired me 5 years ago to go into the performance industry. 

Today was incredible. On the right path to feeling beautiful and being successful.
YAY! =) 


ALSO. comments I got today.
From my 9th grade french teacher whom I haven’t seen in about 3 years, as I was walking toward her to greet her and hug her, “Oh my God, you are gorgeous.” TEARS
“You look hot. Look at you body.”
“I love your outfit.”
“It was so nice seeing you.”

little things. But wonderfully inspiring things. =)

I hope everybody’s happy and hanging in there with school and stuff. You’re all beautiful.


ALSO ALSO. THE FUCKING HUNGER GAMES.
PERFECT.  

I’m so grateful my family has taught me to see the beauty in everything.

Also. I just want my uncles to let me move into their condo on the beach in California since they’re moving to Arizona, Hawaii, or New Jersey. I mean… if they’re going to be paying someone to “watch” their house everyday and take care of it, why can’t I just live there and pay them some money, while I watch their house and keep it wonderful? It makes more sense. And they can obviously trust me. 


on the freaking beach.
My future roommate will be TOO happy because she said her life would be complete if she could look out the window and see the ocean everyday. I would probably cry everyday of my life seeing such beauty. 

My grandma is going to try to talk them into it. Which means, she’s going to tell them it’d be stupid for them to be paying somebody else money, while they could be making some extra money instead by letting me live there… seriously… it’s basically a win/win situation here. 

 

This freaking weekend has reminded me how beautiful life is.

I have such incredible people in my life. Catching up with friends is so wonderful and it just makes my life when they call and tell me how they’re doing.

I think it’s awesome to have friends you’re proud of. I actually think that those are the people who are your actual friends- the ones you can say, “I’m so proud of you,” gladly and in front of anybody who will listen. 

I’m so blessed, it’s not even funny. 

My sister and I have been going to the gym together and I’m rather excited. I biked about 11.5 miles today and then treadmilled uphill for about 2 miles to cool dat shiz down before rehearsal.

I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. 

This past week, people told me I’m beautiful. At random. 
I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve felt beautiful. 
So I guess I think it’s a big deal that people are telling me I’m beautiful since I’m actually FEELING it. 

The past 6 months, I was at my lowest I’ve ever really been at because I thought I’d never be able to sing again and I hated that my asthma was taking over my damn life. BUT I’ve taken control of my life again and I’m really excited. 

(I gave up fried foods, fast food [not panera or fudruckers because I feel like they are more sit down restaurant-types and their food is actually pretty good for you] and junk food for lent. I was going to give up soda, too, but I don’t really drink that enough to feel like it’s a loss. SO yeah, I gave up that stuff for LENT because I did it a few years ago and I’d gotten at my healthiest, so here’s to a repeat! Because I’d never been happier.)

ALSO. I love wearing lipstick. I love wearing make up. 
I stopped wearing eye make up and stuff because I didn’t want to be seen as “the girl who’s trying too hard.” But. Whatever. If people think that way, they’re dumb, because I feel rather lovely with some eye make up and lipstick. So bye. =)

ALSO. QUICK QUESTION: WHY DOES PLANET FITNESS HAVE FREE TOOTSIE ROLLS!?! As I leave from working out and feeling wonderful, I snatch them up and I feel like I just ruined my last 45 minutes of life… 

ALSOALSO. Rachel McAdams. I’d like to be the next you. Can I have your career? 

I kind of get really pissed when I see people saying how much they need to lose weight so their boyfriend will still think they’re beautiful.

I’m not judging anybody and telling you that if you’re thin it’s a bad thing, but I’m also not saying this because I’m jealous. I’m so frustrated that on every magazine, there’s a “new way to get skinny” and “drop the pounds fast”, and what not. 

… I’m so sad that the media makes it seem like you have to be a certain shape to be beautiful. I’m fucking beautiful, but the fact that the media makes people THINK that I’m not because I’m not a double zero is bull shit.

I wish my friends, and tumblr followers/people I follow, and the world could just cut the shit and fucking live. If you’re so worried about your eating habits and staying thin, I don’t understand how you could possibly be taking advantage of everything life has to offer healthily and without feeling guilty. If you like to eat certain foods, eat them. If you want to eat a piece of your own fucking birthday cake, EAT IT. If your boyfriend won’t stay with you because you’ve gained 5 pounds, LEAVE HIM. You deserve better. 

I’m realizing a lot of people base their worthiness and “eligibility” of success on their weight. A number. 

fuck the media. You’re beautiful. What the world needs is more people who are comfortable with the body God gave them and for them to show younger people that you don’t always have to be on a diet and counting calories or spending hours a day working out to be respected and to succeed in life. Just stay active and eat. Your weight does not define you. 

I almost forgot this. But I’m glad so many of my followers are complaining about their bodies tonight. -__- Thanks for the reminder that I’m beautiful. Here’s yours. <3

I just believe that every life has meaning.

You are all so wonderful and absolutely beautiful. I don’t care what other people call you and you shouldn’t either. Once you figure out what makes you so special (and there is something, if not a million little things), you will be happy.

Life is so precious. Think about the people who have theirs taken away completely out of their control. Your only choice should be to live; to keep going and wake up every morning saying, “I’m alive, what can I do to embrace it today?” You are beautiful- people who don’t think so, don’t deserve to have you in their lives. You are too good for any of those people.

You just can’t keep seeing yourself as this ugly, worthless thing people make you think you are. You are beautiful. Ignore the voices of the people who want to hurt you; learn from them and strive to never let anybody feel the way that they have made you feel. Teach them how to love and how to respect all beauty. 

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly, show them how.”


Chin up, Beautifuls. <3 <3 <3

I love who I am/was today.

And I watched the most wonderful documentary in Sociology about a boy named Larry raised in a home for mentally challenged children since he was 2 weeks old, and if it weren’t for one doctor to notice he could read, he never would have realized he’s actually “normal”. 

… The transformation from the beginning to the end of the film absolutely astounded me and I almost cried. In the beginning, he “couldn’t” speak two words, and by the end of the film (over the course of a year or so, I believe) he was speaking, walking, thinking, and acting like he’d been doing it all his life. His mother didn’t want him when he was born and the doctor told her he would never be normal, so she “put him up for adoption”, but instead, the doctor kept him in the home where he was surrounded by mentally challenged people all his life. He was just acting like everybody he’s every been surrounded by and was never allowed to be different or to “step out of line” and be “normal.” So wonderful. By the end of the documentary, he had gotten a job, moved into his own apartment, and started a life in the real world all by himself. And nobody even knew that he had spent his whole life “sick”. 

It was really miraculous. Such beauty.